On March 3 of 2017 the New York Times published an editorial commenting on and supporting statements that Pope Francis had made about giving in response to someone asking for money or other help from passers-by on the street. This brief quotation gets to the heart of the Pope’s comments:

“Give them the money, and don’t worry about it…..Then he posed a greater challenge. He said the way of giving is as important as the gift. You should not simply drop a bill into a cup and walk away. You must stop, look the person in the eyes, and touch his or her hands.

The reason is to preserve dignity, to see another person not as a pathology or a social condition, but as a human, with a life whose value is equal to your own.”

It is easy to become engaged in ethical nuances such whether it is actually a beneficial thing to give money to a person who may then use it in self-destructive actions such as fueling a substance addiction. It is important to think about the specific ramifications of one’s own actions. However, for me, the power of this article was it’s focus on the essential relationship of giver and receiver; to shift the focus toward it being an interaction between two human beings, each in the fullness of his/her humanity. This article was a motivation to continue to follow my impulse to give in this type of situation. But much more importantly it served to make me uncomfortable as I thought about my past actions. How many times have I walked by someone on the street who was holding out a hand in request and felt that I did not want to look them in the face, even if I did give them some money?

And so one Friday afternoon in October of 2017, I went down to Rutland city to do some errands after a week long sesshin. As I was walking along with a cup of cappuccino in one hand and some cleaning solution for my glasses in the other, I saw a fellow standing at the end of the block. He was dressed in rag-tag clothes and had a small sign hanging from his neck that said: “winter is coming, please help with a motel room”. My car was on the other side of the street. I briefly thought that I could cross over and bypass him or I could walk by him and cross over later. I knew I would walk by him. I knew I would give him some money, but I didn’t know anything else. I definitely felt some uneasiness.

As I approached he looked over at me. There we were, face to face, eye to eye. I stopped, took out my wallet to get some money, and said,” At least for the moment, the weather is not too bad.” I handed the money to him. I noticed that he was missing several of his front teeth. He said, “ Thank you. My name is James.” He held out his hand and I shook it. “Mine is Steve”, I said.

As I walked down the street toward my car, I realized that what began as question in my mind about how to give was not really about that at all. I also realized that the reason you look at and touch the person you are giving to is not to preserve their dignity. You do it simply to see him or her and to connect with a fellow creature from whom you are not fundamentally separate. You affirm both their dignity and your own. In return she or he can see you and touch you. This really was a tale about my encounter with a bodhisattva. He gave me his attention, his name, his hand. What a gift!